Tomorrow it's a month till my birthday and I'm reminded of the fact neither of my best friends will be there to celebrate it... One has been gone just about two years and if she was here I'm not sure id be in the situation I've been in for the past year because I would have been able to talk to someone. Maybe I wouldn't be so scared or letting my fears get the better of me 😞
I don't want to get a year older without Andrea being here another year without my best friend. Let alone another birthday without him talking to me 😢 It was hard enough last year with him only half being there for my birthday. I don't want this one without either of them. How can I have stuffed things up so much that I'm dreading my birthday? I'm going to be 34 with no family of my own, no best friends nothing at all 😞 and from the looks of it, it's always going to be like this because I'm damaged goods as some would say...
I wish I didn't have to be an adult, I wish l could turn back time and fix things but I can't bring Andrea back and I can't fix things with him it seems which is why I had to say goodbye even tho it hurts like hell. But I have to keep going and put on the brave face and keep dealing with my fears and learn to just be...
Just wish the next month wasn't creeping up on me, I don't want to have my birthday without him in my life 😕
🌟I guess if I could wish for one thing this year it would be him still being in my life 🌟
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