Day 1....After all is said and done...

This morning I forced myself to get up, get dressed and head to the gym... Why? Because I know it always helps even though I didn't want to work out I did it anyway. I know if I don't my back aches and leg plays up so I figured even if it was the only thing I did all day I got dressed and went to the gym. I worked out for over an hour although I didn't do my full work out.

Today's been hard I'm not going to lie, I had a cry in the shower at the gym. I had a cry sitting and just thinking this afternoon while doubting what decision I made yesterday. Yet I know I have made it with the right intentions and to try do what's right. I just hope one day the pain subsides and I'll be ok inside. It's easy to look ok on the outside I've been doing it for so long the last few years that it pretty much comes naturally even tho I know it shouldn't 😕

I know from last time when "he" left me the pain doesn't really go away you just learn to ignore it so it doesn't hurt as much. I'm not sure tho this time if I can ignore it as there's 4 years of memories and happiness to ignore... But I'm trying.