It's funny, I saw someone's post on Instagram and it said "when your life flashes before your eyes, will it be worth watching?" It reminded me of when I went in for spinal surgery. As the medication started working to knock me out and seeing bits of life and my dreams and what I love... Now seeing that quote today it makes me realise I've lost so much this year and sadly I have to learn to be ok with that and just be.
I get that my life as it stands is not what I want to watch if it flashes before my eyes but I can say and be ok with the fact I know I was loved once. That I can say I have been in love once too and I screwed it up but at least I have known love. Love is what keeps you going, keeps the smile on your face and stops you from giving up on everything. Love doesn't always happen so when it finds you, you should hold on tight and enjoy it while it lasts. Don't push it away, but don't force it either. It is to be cherished, honoured and enjoyed so don't ever take it for granted like I did...
Because life is a lot more painful when it's gone, memories can haunt your dreams. They can affect you when you least expect it, those times when you feel everything is ok and then it hits you... Hits you hard. Yet you just have to keep slapping on a happy face and get thru it because you can't let anyone know it's destroying you... Because people always leave even if it's your fault they leave..
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