To trust or not to trust?

I've been struggling with this post for a couple of weeks now, since someone I valued as a good friend kinda came back into my life. Trying to figure out in my head how important trust is and how much trust can cause problems with friendships.

I know a number of years ago I trusted people so willingly and thought that people would never betray others trust in them. It was a huge lesson to learn that people could not only betray your trust but hurt you in the process. I lost 2 close friends and someone I cared for a lot. It helped me decide that I preferred not to let many people in which is why I had my lil bubble as my sister called it.  It did teach me though that you never know what happens when your back is turned, as well as learning how hard it is to trust people after that kind of betrayal happens. I did however move on from that after a spell away to see family. I became someone who didn't let people in so easily and who couldn't trust anyone or even my own instincts/gut feelings. It became to the point where I second guessed everything for quite some time.

My big sister in the end was the one that reminded me just about 4 yrs ago now that I had to start trusting myself and my gut feelings etc, because they are generally correct. It took a lot for me to start doing this, in fact somedays I still struggle.  But i am grateful she got me to listen although sometimes I still don't fully.

The past two years I sadly lost trust in many things including myself due to the situation I was in. There was so many things going on at once, I was being harassed,  I felt like I was being used as a "gap filler emotionally" and many other things that all made me lose Trust in myself and everyone in my life. 

I became this person who second guessed everything and I guess I still do these days, as I don't believe my gut feelings to be right. I also struggle to trust anyone after what happened a year ago when I was told someone close to me had said stuff about me to so-called other friends. I was told by someone I classed as a friend, turned out I didn't know who to believe and even now it hurts at times when I am reminded of it.

The past two weeks I have been thinking a lot about trust and if 1 can truly trust someone again when they have hurt you and knocked your beliefs in them, yourself and people in general.  How do you trust someone who walked out of your life and hurt you then comes back into your life?

Do you trust them straight away or make them earn it back? Does the pain go away or will you always have it as a constant reminder of the past?

Do I throw caution to the wind as some would say and trust them even if it means getting hurt again and possibly hurt worse than previous? 

Trust is a tricky thing and something I'm really struggling with the past two weeks especially and the answers are not forthcoming either sadly. 


but I did see this which made me giggle!