So its been a bit of a week where I feel like I'm in the middle of tornado in a way... stuck in the middle of the swirling winds and no matter what I do I cant get the damn thing to stop.... Every where I turn its still something falling down around me.. so many things all at once and not a damn thing I can really do about it...
In the past 3months I have attended so many Interviews for teaching positions and yet still only being offered relieving positions after the first place reneged on their deal with me. Which is why I moved in the first place! This week alone I went to three on one day! Sadly I heard back from one of them on Friday and as I guessed still no luck...
The last one I attended on Wednesday was an informal meet & greet and look around the centre to give me info and the likes to go home and ponder weither I would like to proceed further. So late last night I decided I did and emailed to ask for the formal interview next week. Lets hope something good happens there!
The other centre I went for an interview at is not one I could see myself working in as it was so stuck up and snobby! Which is not what I expected at all considering its a Franchise centre but it was and I cant picture myself there so I kinda hope for bad news on that one lol....
Its frustrating as I know I'm a damn good ECE Teacher yet all I keep getting offered is relieving work which isn't stable.. god nothing in my life is stable the past 12 weeks! If I could get this at least I would have something to focus on....
My life is definitely not where I expected it to be two months ago.... I miss the stability and the fact things are normally organised and planned.... There's none of that now.... Heck I kinda feel like a very small fish in a rather large scary pond with no-one she knows around...
On top of the work stuff there is so much other stuff I have no control over going on. As much as I want to try walk away from it all things pull me back and it starts going around and around again....
I know life is not supposed to be simple... but who knew being Selfless would hurt as much as it does... Some days I really wish I could bury myself in a hole and not return.... because nothings going to change... As much as I'm honest with things and people nothing changes.... instead I just end up hurting, and as much as you try and ignore the pain its still there... it doesn't seem to just go away.
I try to make life as it was before everything, and it just doesn't work.... nothing is the same as it once was...
I know you cant go back and change the past but cant you at least make things like they were before something in order to at least have normality or less pain?
No comments:
Post a Comment