Friday, July 18, 2014

Ho hum

So it's been just about a week since my birthday and quite honestly it was basically another crap day... a couple of texts received and that was it. I thought one person might have made a big deal or something but nope. Yet again I need to just learn I can't expect anything that way I won't get disappointed. 

Disappointment seems to be the keyword the past few years sadly. But it has taught me that I should only rely on myself no matter what the situation as its just easier and less painful.  Which i was reminded of earlier this week when i asked some one a question just to see what they said. Funnily enough they replied and acted exactly as i expected them to.  Lucky I already had decided that i would do things my way.

It's now only a few days till i leave the south and now I'm really not sure i am making the right decision.  Although i know opportunity wise it's a better decision to head home then stay, I hate the idea of going home to the unknown. The having to find a house I like in an area I'm ok with. Sorting out what's happening with work and just figuring out what i should be doing in my life, let alone who I want in my life.

I'm nervous scared and anxious about heading home and I feel it's only going to get worse as the next few days pass. Hopefully I will get over it once I get home......

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