Day 3: Last year, in great detail...

Last Year, In Great Detail...

eeek This is going to be a lil hard so bare with me on this one...

January 2011 - My website for charlie was in full swing and we started Rave Run Radio for his birthday. 

February 2011 - This mostly was quiet till February 22nd when my home town Christchurch was hit with a magnitude 6.3 quake at 12.51 pm which killed 181 people. More Info Here

March 2011 - March saw me having a visit from my mother from Christchurch for two weeks and then me heading to CHCH for a brief holiday and to attend the memorial service for the victims of the Feb 22nd quake and the city.. 

April 2011 - I moved home to Christchurch to help family and friends after the earthquakes... 

May 2011 - I remember the fact it was all over the tv that Osama bin laden was killed. I also remember May was filled with a little excitement as I started working again... along with getting my new upgraded Dslr.

June 2011 - Christchurch was rocked by a double-whammy earthquake on the 13th  which did more damage to our city as you can see here. The month was also filled with mostly work, along with the launch of my Jewellery page Pixie Creations. 

The Almighty Johnsons stars & I

July 2011 - Armageddon Christchurch happened the first weekend of July where I got to finally meet one of my fav NZ Actors Jared Turner (from Almighty Johnsons).  It was also my 29th birthday where we got to attend the midnight screening of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Pt 2. 

August 2011 - I got to meet Lauren Kate author of the Fallen Series in Dunedin. She was amazing to talk to and very encouraging. I also went to Wellington to have a photoshoot with Krystol after the prize we won in January. Along with catching up with friends up there that I hadn't seen since I left in April.

September 2011 - This marked one year since the 7.1 earthquake that started it all in Christchurch in 2010.

October 2011 - This was the month I moved out of my mothers after deciding enough was enough.  Don't remember much else of October as I was working for most of it... 

November 2011 - Breaking Dawn Part 1 screening with Pip. Where I made up some small goodie bags and we had a blast. Also decided it was time to stop doing a job I don't enjoy and do what I love and get closer to my goal....

December 2011 - My website became a year old, and relaunched on a new format with its own website addy after months of work after having no laptop...It also gave me a secret which I had to hold onto for several weeks...  December also was marked by major earthquakes again on the 23rd of December as you can see here.  December also saw the launch of my own business for my photography thanks to the support of friends which you can check out here.

January 2012 - This month has seen me decide to move back to Wellington at the end of February to get my business up and running properly. It also finally saw the announcement that we had to keep a secret for a month or so that Charlie was coming to NZ for Armageddon in Wellington & Hamilton in April... 

Lauren Kate & I in Dunedin August 2011.

Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name

What's the Meaning behind my blog name...

Ok so this is an easy one for me to answer today....  Basically my Profile name on Blogger is because I have been called Pixie for quite sometime due to an ex who called me pixie and then my family and friends followed suit and I have not been able to shake it since.... 

As for the name of my Blog "Butterflies and stars" I came up with it when I started my blog in 2011 because someone who inspires me  told me to keep reaching for the moon and If  I missed it would still be ok as I would land upon the Stars.... 

The Butterflies part comes from the fact since I was 16 they have been significant for me since my closest friend was murdered over New Years. When I think about her or talk to her I seem to have this affinity to Butterflies and they seem to come around me... Mostly Monarchs... 

So I thought a good name for my blog would be "Butterflies and Stars" because its everything that means a lot to me ♥

Day 1: Blog 15 facts about yourself

oh heck, yep I really don't like this first one but I accepted the challenge so here goes... 

15 Facts about Me...

1. I was born in Hastings, NZ but grew up in Southland! 
2. I have never had a white Christmas .
3. I am the Oldest child on my mum's side of the family, but the baby on my dads side of the family, yet I have not met any of my older siblings from my dad's side & just to add to that - My big brother & big sister are not blood related at all as it comes from the saying your friends are you family you choose for yourself, and I love them both even though we are not actually related! ♥
4. I am Kiwi-born Brit and in the next few years plan on heading to visit where my dad etc grew up in the UK.
5. My favourite city in the world is Paris yet I have never been there.
6. I have won Gold, Silver & Bronze medals for the sport I was involved in for 20years.
7. My favourite colour is Aqua blue.
8. I live in the country that developed the Bungy Jump yet I have never been on it as I have a slight anxiety problem when it comes to heights but I plan on conquering it.
9. I have two favourite flowers, Daffodils & yellow roses. 
10. I love anything artistic (thanks to my dad who was an artist) so love Art History, Painiting, and am a qualified photographer and have been since 2001. 
11. My favourite animal is a Tiger although I love all cats. 
12. When the mood takes me I can write short stories and poetry and have been told I am really good at it. 
13. I make jewellery.
14. I am a major bookworm and when I am not crafting or writing or working on photo shoots you can find me with my nose in a book or my kindle.
15. I have eyes that change colours in different lights but tend to wear contact lenses instead of my glasses so people don't notice too much... 

30 Day Blog Challenge

Okies so a friend of mine @iheartpolrbears suggested to me to join her in the 30 day blog challenge so I guess since it's the start of the new week we shall give it a go and see if we can get the whole thirty days done.

• Day 1 – Blog 15 facts about yourself
• Day 2 – Meaning behind your blog name
• Day 3 – Last year, in great detail
• Day 4- Goals
• Day 5 – List 5 places you have been to
• Day 6 – List 5 places you want to go to
• Day 7 – places you have lived
• Day 8 – your favorite television program 
• Day 9 – a hobby of yours  
• Day 10 – Your favorite movie   
• Day 11 – about a recipe   
• Day 12 – A song that makes you cry   
• Day 13 – A non-fiction book  
• Day 14 – A photo you took    
• Day 15 – A photo of you taken over ten years ago   
• Day 16 – A photo of you taken recently
• Day 17 – A photo that makes you happy  
• Day 18 – A photo that makes you sad  
• Day 19 – Original Photo of the city you live in   
• Day 20 – Your favorite quote   
• Day 21 – Blog about your nickname    
• Day 22 – Your day, in great detail   
• Day 23 – a website
• Day 24 – A YouTube video
• Day 25 – Something you are afraid of
• Day 26 – Favorite Place to eat
• Day 27- Dream House
• Day 28 – Something you don't leave the house without   
• Day 29 – Dream Job   
• Day 30 – Something you miss

It's my Year!!

Yes you heard me correctly it's my year! and now I will fill you in on why etc... 

My friend "C" said to me this week "Its always darkest before the dawn..."  and that got me thinking the past 24 hours, with the song that line comes from playing through my head... 

The past week has been utter crap... I booked my tickets to fly back to Wellington end of February due to having enough of the earthquakes as we had 6 quakes on December 23rd all quite big in magnitude. I also know I can not start a business in a town that is having to rebuild and there is no money for anything else, so many families are struggling. 

I feel like I am loosing sight of the goals I set last year and what I am working towards.. Along with loosing the few people who truly believe in me by heading back to Wellington...


I know moving means I will not be hurt by my family again who in the end took me for what they could get from me and pulled me down and hurt me yet again.. So this move means not having to deal with it any more. Having contact when and If  I need it and not because they want to hurt me. As much as I love my family and I do love them I cant keep going through all this all the time..

I am a family person but I also know families should not be like ours, my mother is one for always going on about how she want's grand children etc and yet she cant even seem to look after my cat :( He has been missing for two weeks (just about 3 now) because he wasn't coping here with me at the moment so she was meant to be looking after him till I fly out.. sadly by the sounds of it he wont be with me :( Why would I let her look after Grandkids if she can't even look after my cat . . .  So I kind of figured on Tuesday I am just better off not trusting my mum with anything and to only deal with her when necessary in order to stop getting hurt..

Tuesday evening ended up being one filled with inspiration and happiness while working on a special piece of artwork for someone who truly inspires me for their birthday. One of the two people who for the past year have reminded me I can hit my goals! and that it's ok to land in the stars if I don't reach the moon..  I created the following piece for Charlie's 31st Birthday...

Thus brings us to today Saturday 28th January 2012...

Feeling a little sorry for myself this morning a lovely friend posted something on their facebook that instantly reminded me of what "A" has been saying to me in a different way for so long... "No one can create your reality but you!! It does not matter what others say. It only matters what you believe and tell yourself. The universe is always giving you what you ask for, good or bad." - copied from Candance's facebook

It also reminds me of a few things from the book " The Alchemist by P. Coelho" that Charlie mentioned in 2010. Which I own and have read a couple of times but it hasn't meant so much to me till this past month and making the decision to keep moving forward towards my stars...

While thinking about " It's always being darkest before the dawn . . ." this evening I realised in order to leave my past behind and be happy I have to keep moving forward and so I went for a bit of a run. I hadn't been running in awhile and it felt great! Granted it was 10pm at night,...

Had to have a giggle too as Shake it out came on my iPod while out running and I did something I refer to  as a flying Charlie ROFLMAO I know strange term... but I stood still in the park and walked briskly with my arms slightly away from my sides eyes closed and dreaming of flying!  Flying to my goals.... reaching my stars and the moon!

Leaving behind the past in Christchurch is Ok because I am earning my wings, finding my way back to me and soaring to where I need to be.... I have my Sister (Pea) and BFF (A) and a couple of close friends supporting me along with one who doesn't even realise how much he inspires me (although he will do in april! if i don't get all shy on it)...

So that's me... I am going to be accountable and focus on what is truly important... Me & my goals! I can do this and I will do this! I am learning to soar!!




This year is a big one! full of learning curves, Starting my own business, Preparing to meet someone who inspires me greatly and starting to become the person I truly am destined to be.... Bring it on!!

Hello 2012...

So it's 2012 in fact it's already just about the end of January 2012! where has the month gone? 

It has been just about a year of turmoil, turbulence & shakes. In 25 days it will mark a year since the devastating quake which bought my beloved home town to its knees. February 22nd 2011 will be forever etched in Kiwi's minds let alone Cantabarians. 

I moved back home to Christchurch in April to help my family, mostly my mum who needed the company, as after the February quakes I received calls a lot when  there were aftershocks, so I thought it was wise to head down and help out for awhile, as my brother was working and did not really have the time to keep running to mum when she needed someone... I had my reservations but put them to the back of my head and headed to Christchurch. 

Since being in Christchurch, everything I once knew has changed. Buildings are gone, there is basically no nightlife and no variety on places to visit. You also do not get used to the ground moving on you. Don't get me wrong you can sleep etc through the small aftershocks but anything over a magnitude 4 and I feel it. 

I experienced a double-whammy of Earthquakes in June, which ended up destroying my laptop and knocking my confidence a little, but after a few weeks it starts to build up again and your a ok again... 

sadly that was when I started realising my mum was still the same person she had been when I was growing up... The one who has never had anything positive to say about me. We basically have nothing in common and since I was 10 she has told me how she wishes she had given me up instead of keeping me in spite to my grandmother. I have never really been sure how to take this but have always always reminded myself that even though my Dad is gone and has been most of my life, I have his spirit and I can do anything I put my mind too.... Well that got knocked quite a lot this past year thanks to Mum and her put downs yet again....

I started working really long hours pretty much every day of the week to not have to deal with her, which hurts as I am a family person and love my family dearly even though all the do is hurt me :( 

I moved out of my mothers place in October and moved in with a friend who I have known since I was knee high to a grasshopper. She has been encouraging me and slowly helping me become me again. 

I left the job I was in that I wasn't happy in, as several people had told me you shouldn't be in a job if your heart is not in it. Spent a month or so thinking of what I really love and love doing and have gone back to my first love of Photography. I have been qualified since 2001 and yet not used those qualifications in a long time. 

sadly another thing over the past year is I have lost some people I thought were good true friends because they didn't like something I said/or did or the way I thought. Now I can honestly say it is their loss... I am me and I will not change that for anything.. I am slowly becoming the person I was this time last year before everything started to fall to pieces. 

Since being in Christchurch I have not been able to go running or swimming much as I was working heaps to keep away from mum, and a lot of facilities were closed due to earthquake damage.  The photo shoot K and I had in august (the one we won at the beginning of 2011) was interesting.... It wasn't till i saw the photos in December I realised how much weight I gain when I don't eat properly and am subject to my mothers taunts etc.. I knew I couldn't change it till i get the hell out of the same city as her.... but I could make a start and have......

see next post for the here & now...