What the hell? How the heck did it become August let alone the middle of August?
I am the most lousy person for updating this crap when life gets busy, yet I made a promise I would try so lets hope the second half of the year I can actually keep my promise to
Christin! Considering I haven't touched this since march.....
So freaking much has happened since then.... some of it good, some of it not so much.... On the upside, I haven't been as sick as I was two years ago... (Big achievement there!) Probably due to the fact I know pretty much what I can & cant eat now and have been pushing even when not feeling the best to at least go for a walk or run if I don't have the energy for the gym..... Plus the fact I know to not put myself in situations I cant handle (well 99% of the time anyways).
Ahhh the Gym the place I love to hate! hahaha I did learn how Uncoordinated I am since giving up Marching 2.5years ago. Me and Zumba at the gym equals free entertainment for all that attend! How I got so uncoordinated in two years I have no idea! Yet put the Kiwi's display music on and I can still do it! hahaha!
Its taken me the past 4months to get back into running properly after the fact it just wasn't safe to do so in Christchurch in the area mum lived in due to the quake damage... and due to work killing my soul and spirit by the time I moved out of hers again I didn't particularly have the passion to do so again.... It wasn't till I was rather pissed off at a flatmate in Wellington after I got back from a trip that I started putting my pissed off moods into something a lil more constructive again! Albeit I still dislike running but with music and the fact I know I should and was getting freaking great at it before I went to Christchurch I have the determination to keep going.... One thing I learned from the issues of the past, my fight or flight reflexes are good, and Ive learned more to fight then to not now.... whether its a good thing or not is yet to be proven.... but at least I am not wasting my energy being angry at something.... There just isn't any point in being angry its just a waste of energy....
July ended up being a pretty good month, apart from the approach of the Birthday I didn't want to come, due to the fact I have yet to achieve the goals I had set that I wanted achieved by that day. Probably why I am still so annoyed at myself... The only good thing about it is thanks to Mother making her decision not to have anything to do with me i no longer have to deal with her reminding me what she had done by this time in her life (yes including the fact she wants grandkids! yep not happening this side of the next five years either! if at all) :P I have far too much I want to achieve first, and considering I have been on my own for so long, apart from the repeat mistake I made last year (although I was pretty much still alone then).... I don't think its going to ever happen... Too stubborn & independent for my own good as i am so often reminded...
Anyways, I hit the dreaded day and even though I didn't particularly want it to.. So have just reassessed my plans and now refocusing on achieving them! I refuse to not achieve them because I know damn well I can! I am not my mother and I am not one to give up fighting for what I want.... albeit the past year I have a few times because I didn't see the point in wasting energy.... So now its onwards and upwards....
My gorgeous Nephew Corbin was born a few days after my birthday and I have to say even though I haven't actually met him or had cuddles yet he is the most precious lil fella ever! The past month when Ive had a bad day the photos K has sent me have brightened my day! I cant wait to head south and have cuddles and snuggles! He is precious for so many reasons and I am so glad K has him! :D
so I guess thats about all I have to update at the moment but at least I can say so far you have two blog posts to read now Christin :D
